I Need Reprogramming

I walked into my office on a Wednesday after being in Peoria for two days at a conference. Simultaneously, I flipped on the light switch and removed the purple coat my husband gave me for Christmas.

Shit.

Sitting on the credenza, just below the light switch, was the bag of Dove dark chocolate squares I purchased the week before in an impulse buy while shopping at Menards. Just before driving to work that morning, I had promised myself that today would be the day I would straighten up and fly right. Already, I was facing one of my most tempting binge foods.

But, this time, I was serious about flying right, so I enacted the One Hour Law. I am only allowed to eat one dove square an hour and none before 10 am. If I followed the letter of my new law, I would have, at most, 7 Dove squares in a day. This would be a vast improvement over my typical tendency to eat one square a minute until the bag was deplenished.

When the time came for the first square, I calmly reached in the bag, brushed aside the wrinkled foils of previously consumed chocolates and selected a piece. I nonchalantly unwrapped the foil, tossing it into the garbage can as I passed. Without much consideration, I popped the chocolate in my mouth.

It’s hard to describe the intensity of the feeling I experienced the moment the chocolate flavor coated my tongue as it melted in my mouth. I imagine it was a kin to how Edward felt the first time he smelled Bella’s blood. It was an intense physical attraction accompanied by the mental willingness to sink my teeth into every square inch of chocolate with no regard for the consequences.

Alright, the One Hour Law was going to be a little harder than I thought.

They (the diet experts) say you shouldn’t deprive yourself. It’s when you deprive yourself that you lose control. Or, listen to your body and eat intuitively because your body communicates it’s needs through cravings. If that’s how it is supposed to work then I must need reprogramming because I don’t think intuitive eating includes pushing little old ladies and children aside to get to the dark chocolate.

I’m still trying to reprogram myself but I’m pleased to inform you that it has been two weeks and there are still chocolate squares in the bag.

You know that writing about this totally means I get to eat the rest with wild abandon tomorrow, right? Preferably before lunch so that I can justify going out to buy more for my reprogramming experiment.

1 Comment

Filed under Lessons learned, personality flaws

One response to “I Need Reprogramming

  1. Penny

    I’ve taken to buying one Cadbury egg and one Reese’s egg and eating them in the same sitting…..Ummmmmm. Probably need to reprogram my brain on that one.

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