100 Miles of Nowhere

I’m doing my 100 miles of Nowhere Tour de France style…in stages but with a partner. 

Category- Recreational cyclist with 7 year old tag along on a 2 blocks course. 

The Ride: (It’s cheap and it’s old)

The Course: (Elevation change ~ 6 inches)

The Tag Along with his ride: (This picture was taken a month before the 100 Miles of Nowhere)

The T-Shirt: (I got to wear it in several stages because I was the leader)

Stage 1-April 30th- On a whim, because I had received my schwag bag, I started my 100 miles of Nowhere today. My course is two blocks down the road and back to my house. Each lap is 0.4 miles. The first thing I noticed is the great prairie winds kicking around at 20 mph gusts. Within the first 0.2 miles, my chain fell off while I was trying to change gears. Fortunately, I was able to fix it sans tools but then stuck with one gear for the rest of the 100 miles.  I also got a late start on the day so I ran out of daylight before I ran out of legs. 25 laps for 10 miles. My son, Karlis rode with me for most of the laps.

Stage 2 – May Day- I got greedy last night after my ride and wanted to see if I could extend the length of my ride by including the turn-arounds. Gmaps pedometer informed me that my course is 0.3 miles not 0.4 miles. It was discouraging to realize that I had only gone 7.5 miles the night before. I considered adding on to my route but realized I was riding a metaphor for fighting cancer.  You go through hellish treatment to find out that little to no gain has happened.

An afternoon of Mint Juleps, funky hats, losing bets, May Day baskets, and a measly 10 laps (3miles). Karlis had been at the neighbor’s house playing but came running home when he saw me on the bike. Total milage 10.5 miles

Stage 3-Sunday Delightful Sunday – My husband sat in our driveway and made signs like this for me.

… pedal 0.15 miles, break, u-turn, pedal 0.15 miles, break, u-turn, pedal 0.15 miles, break, u-turn, pedal 0.15 miles…Total laps 78 (23.4 miles). Karlis rode 30 laps. My Total Milage 33.4

Stage 4 – Cub scout night. No riding. Total milage 33.4

Stage 5 – Holy Windy Night Batman. The neighbors must have started to wonder just how crazy I am. One neighbor came out while I was riding and trimmed a limb that Karlis had hit his his head on on the previous ride. It didn’t dawn on me what he had done until he was back closed up in his house. I wanted to say thanks but just waved. Total laps 45 (13.5 miles). Total milage 47.4 miles. 316 times past the neighbors’ houses.

Stage 6 – Using old school techniques is fine until you start getting tired or tired of what you are doing.  Counted 46 +/- laps on my fingers.   100 gnats swallowed.  Total Milage 61.2 miles.

Stage 7 – Watched Karlis wipeout in front of our house.  The handlebar got him in the stomach and knocked the wind out of him.  Poor kid.  He’s tough though.  He got up and went for two more laps before he called it quits.  55 laps.  Total Milage 77.7

That was my last day.  I didn’t track Karlis’ milage but I’m confident that between the two of us we made it to 100 miles or 666 times past the neighbor’s house.  Hmm…. 666… a fitting number for cancer.

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5 Comments

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5 responses to “100 Miles of Nowhere

  1. Pingback: Fat Cyclist » Blog Archive » 100 Miles of Nowhere: Bittersweet Division

  2. Came here via Fatty’s blog and I have to say that I love the hilarious details of your race. Thanks for the laugh and way to go!

  3. found you via Fatty too.

    Congratulations on winning your division! Great recap of stages – Versus quality.

    It is a unique experience riding 100 miles to nowhere. I did the 100 last year ( teaching job might get cut this year = no $)
    I also rode stages – I included my 3 year year old on the back of my bike for 20 miles. The rest I did solo on a loop or trainer.

  4. Pingback: Open Letter to The Fat Cyclist | A Barefoot Rose By Any Other Name

  5. Pingback: 100 Miles of Nowhere V. 5.0 | A Barefoot Rose By Any Other Name

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