I Don’t Like Shopping

Normally, I’m discouraged from going grocery shopping because the husband will do it faster than I will.  However, I drove Mik to the park district video game design class last night, so, it seemed to make sense that I would stop in at the grocery store to pick up provisions for the camping trip.  By provisions, I mean the ingredients for S’mores.  I realized two problems with sending me to the store to buy graham crackers, chocolate bars and marshmallows.

First, sending me to a grocery store is like forcing a mouse to navigate a confounding maze to find cheese.  If I were on Supermarket Sweep, the TV game show were you had 10 seconds to find the product bearing the Supermarket Sweep symbol to win a bonus, I’d be the contestant receiving negative points.  Our small town hosts two grocery stores that have opposing strategies for product display.  I spend a great deal of my time in those stores walking past the mops asking myself, “If I were a box of sugary crackers where would I be?”  At last, I located the final S’more ingredient in Store A only to discover they were one box short of the amount of graham crackers I needed.  I returned the items being held in my hands and promptly drove to confounding maze B.  Three internal laps later, it turned out that Store B was 4 boxes short of the chocolate bars I needed.  It figures.

Second, sending me to buy chocolate bars is like telling that mouse she can’t eat the cheese she found in the maze because there’s a bikini she can wear if she climbs the 10 inch walls around the maze.  Pft.  Yes, I, like 200 million other Americans, am on a diet.  Now days, we call it a “lifestyle change”.  I find it hard enough to make a “one day change” let alone a “lifestyle change.”  There I was surrounded by cartons of banned foods.  I couldn’t take two steps without being consumed by a yummy treat I just spied.  Over and over again.  Being in a grocery store provides access to items that are unattainable at home, for good reason.  Yummies.  Right.  In.  Front.  Of.  Me.  All I had to do was pay for it.  90% of my diet cheats have been consumed within five steps of exiting a grocery store.  This recent experience also gave me significant insight as to why my dad has always been a massive impulse buyer.  Couple the lusting with zigzagging through each aisle to corral the essential S’more ingredients and I was grappling with a wicked level of temptation.

In hindsight, I surmise that I don’t like shopping.  It’s too dangerous and way too much work!

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Filed under Lessons learned, Weight loss

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