No, No, No: The No List

“See, I can have the oatmeal raisin cookie. I can’t have the chocolate chip cookie because chocolate chips are chocolate which falls into the candy category and candy is clearly listed here on the NO list. So, would you please hand me an oatmeal raisin cookie?”

Sophie viewed me with that you-are-full-of-shit-you are-never-going-to-lose-weight look. And, she’s right to an extent but, I’m not doing this to lose weight. Today and tomorrow are not about losing weight. Instead, these first few days or weeks are about restraining my food addictions.

For the first ten months of 2011, I’ve tried to lose weight. I quit sugar and carbs cold turkey so many times I’m afraid someone’s going to try to cook me for Thanksgiving dinner.

Nearly every time I went cold turkey, I’d become delirious and started sneaking forbidden foods by the third day. 

They say Eve tempted Adam with an apple. But, man, I ain’t going for that. I’m sure it was fries and a hot fudge sundae. Or, maybe buttered popcorn…

The point is, I am tired of succumbing to my food addictions. I’m nauseated by my muffin top, having to suck in just to get my jeans zipped (stretchy jeans at that), of choosing tops based on their camouflaging ability, and of not having control over what I put in my mouth. I find it nearly impossible to not go cold turkey again so that I can ‘get skinny by next week’. But, I’m further frustrated with the massive failures over the year. My cold turkey strategy is like Ponzi scheme with a shorter life span. I feel that I need baby steps that will allow me to adjust to the metamorphosis of my diet without coming unglued in the process. Eventually, I’ll control my addictions then I’ll work on the weight.

This is my NO strategy. Last week, I launched the NO list with no candy and no chips. Everything else was allowed as long as I didn’t eat candy or chips. I stopped myself from mindless consumption at least five times. At least, it prevented mindless eating of chips and candy…

Because I am a food addict, I will find another food crutch. I found myself driving out of my way to get French fries for lunch last week. Thus, this week, the NO list expands to include French fries. It also includes NO eating if I’m not hungry. Amazingly, I was able to eat dinner at a restaurant tonight without justifying the chips or the fries. It was satisfying on many levels.

Now, hand me that oatmeal raisin cookie.

Can you guess what’s going on the list next? As long as I never give up, I will get control.

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1 Comment

Filed under personality flaws, Weight loss

One response to “No, No, No: The No List

  1. Julie

    My husband calls me the phase girl. I’ll easily walk away from a food group for awhile, talking days, months, even years. It works, kind of. Like you, I find a new phase, just as tempting and naughty as the last. Good news is at least we don’t stop trying, that’s failing. On that note, I should probably put down the tablet and walk off the 3 tootsie rolls I ate while pondering your NO list.

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