Not You Too!?

I’ll admit it. I have preconceived notions about massage therapists.

No, not that kind. Get your head out of the gutter.

It’s not all my fault. They play soothing music in the rooms, and decorate the offices with water fountains and symbols of earth, wind, water, and whatever. They preach harmony, balance and drinking 60 gallons of water a day. This was the kind of person I sought.

I perform self-massage to my legs and feet on a regular basis as part of my tendonitist treatment/prevention. One morning, I found a knot that I just could not get the right leverage to work out. This was a case for a professional.

Again? Really? Not that kind!

I called a new therapist located in the next town. She was recommended by my hair stylist. I heard she worked together with other healing arts therapists.

The therapy room had all the right elements. It had natural light, music, ying and yang. It made me need to pee when I arrived and a bottle of water to make me pee again later.

It had been over a year since my last massage. I anticipated it like it was a three week vacation. However, I was there on a mission, not for relaxation. I needed healing.

Cue the car crash.

Can you imagine how much effort it took for me to not jump off the table when she told me she never, ever goes barefoot? Not even in her own house.

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Look, I’m not against shoes or anyone who wears them. It’s just that I need someone who is going to understand my point-of-view so that I can get unbiased treatment. I have a hip out of sorts and a knot in my leg that directly radiated pain in the top of my foot. These are causing pains in my foot. Not the other way around. I was hoping that someone so in touch with Mother Earth would, you know, actually, touch Mother Earth.

“Do you wear good, supportive shoes when you do wear shoes,” she asked?
“No, I wear minimalist shoes by Merrell. No cushion. No support.” I replied.
“Well, it’s a good thing you do a lot of sitting at work then.”

sigh

I know, the barefooters reading this are thinking that I should have enlightened her on the merits of barefooting but, I’d heard enough about why she didn’t go barefoot to know that she was a lost cause. I am back on the market for a massage therapist. It was just so disappointing to find out my stereo-type was all wrong.

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