Category Archives: personality flaws

personality flaws

Murphy’s Law

Click. Click. Click. Click. 

I’m feeling the cocktail of excitement, fear and relief as the car that I am securely strapped into is pulled higher and higher.  I’m excited because I am about to speed down a near vertical angle that looks impossible when viewed from the ground. As the car lurches upward, there is a split second of  fear that the chain dog will snap releasing the coaster backwards ending in a horrific crash.  The click of the the chain comforts me into thinking it must mean everything is fine.  Until we lurch forward again.  And again. And again. It is, after all, by record, the tallest wooden roller coaster. 

Despite my alternating states of emotion, I am drinking in the view.  It’s a shame that the American Eagle name was already claimed because the top of this lift hill is an eagle eye’s view. My son, brave enough to ride the coaster with me, actually isn’t brave enough to have his eyes open at the top.  Looking to the sky from the top of an  impressive height has never quivered my stomach. It’s a glorious view of the people below coming together to scream their heads off.  It almost takes my mind off the click of the roller coaster I am on. 

Click. Click. Fear. Relief. Fear. Relief. Fear.  

Then a pause as we hang at the top of a 180 feet drop while the anticipation builds.  I thought looking down 85 degree decline would trigger some unknown anxiety once we got there but the reality is that I am ready to fly. 

The locks release and we accelerate to 72 miles an hour.  The roller coaster twists us, change directions and never shows us what is coming next.  I can’t control what is coming out of my mouth. 

A month later, I’m driving a tiny economy rental car through the mountains near Golden, Colorado.  I’m fairly certain that the decription on the Avis website would read “Clown Car”.  Most people rent an SUV for the mountains.  Apparently, I rent clown cars.  

The GPS says turn right at the next intersection. I hesitate because this road seems more like a dirt driveway than the shortest route to Golden Gate Canyon State park.  A dirt road in the mountains could end up anywhere.  Like throwing a Jackson down on black number six, I decisively drive ahead into the mountains. On a dirt road. In a clown car. 

At first, I’m just driving along hoping that the GPS signal stays strong enough to guide me back to civilization sometime before my flight leaves that evening.  However, after a while, I note the washed out narrow ditch is a good 3 to 4 feet below the “edge” of the road, and I begin hoping that a tow truck will be able to get to me in time for me to make my evening flight.  I throw a Grant on red number 33 as I press on thinking that I will turn this car around at anytime I feel like the road isn’t safe enough to proceed, provided I’m smart enough to recognize it in time and tire of the gamble. 

After another five miles driving the clown car down the narrowing washed out dirt road, I pulled onto the paved main road. I glanced over my shoulder at the mountain side and once again I cannot control what comes out of my mouth. I laugh semi-hysterically for a good 30 seconds. 

Holy Shit! How the hell am I not sideways in a washed out ditch? 

The laughing reminds me of my uncontrollable laughter on the roller coaster rides a month earlier.  In both instances, I am euphoric because I have just broken Murphy’s Law.

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Filed under Lessons learned, personality flaws, travel, wonderland

Giving Up

I joined a gym. I’m losing inches. I’m getting stronger. I’m eating chocolate. I’m wearing shoes.

It’s been several weeks since I started working out at the gym again. The guard at the door verbally greets me with half open eye lids. He even confided, one day, it was tough to get up at 4 am to come to work. I smiled in solidarity. I’m practically a regular.

Which is why I felt it was the right time to remove my shoes.

I’m giving up my shoes but I don’t think I’m giving up chocolate.

I’m not sure how many people think it is crazy but there have been enough people over the years commenting on my preference for bare feet that it’s more than just in my head. Add the public shower barefoot fungus phobia to the intense germ-a-phobia that exists in the gym as evidenced by the plethora of anti-bacterial gels on every exercise machine. Let’s just say, I gave up my shoes but I didn’t trumpet the virtues of barefootedness. (besides on here, of course)

PSA – Foot fungus develops in warm moist areas that don’t dry out. No shoes = dry feet = poor environment for fungus growth

We’ll see if I continue to get away with it or if I get asked to put the shoes back on. If that happens, I’m giving up the gym.

I’m still won’t be giving up chocolate though.

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Filed under Barefoot, exercise, personality flaws

Cliché Update

Does anyone remember their New Year’s Resolutions? I have a vague recollection that my helicopter was under enemy fire.

Wait. Sorry, that’s not my story.

I’m more likely to forget.

Q. Did there come a time when you and Admiral Poindexter met with the other New Years Resolution officials or members – as well as members of Congress to try to relate to them what your resolutions were?

A. I don’t recall having anything to do with the Congress in that sense.

That’s why I blogged it. Official, written evidence of my cliched attempt to grow up in 2015. Did I stay the course?

RESOLUTIONS
1. Gain a better understanding of which foods negatively impact how I feel and irritate my digestive system
Yes, if I can count eating fast food 2-3 times a week as trial and error?

2. Build functional strength
I successfully lifted the rear end of the snowmobile. And, I can do two full push-ups in a row.

3. Reduce unnecessary spending
I’m in the middle of a kitchen remodel, planning a big summer vacation then I let my husband go buy a snowmobile..

4. Spend more time on creative projects
Kitchen remodel, string art heart, three unfinished scarves

5. Get on with life
I’m in the middle of a kitchen remodel. Who has time to get on with life??

I remembered 4 out of 5. I’ve actively worked on 2 out of 5.

My status on being cliché – 80%.

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Filed under exercise, Lessons learned, personality flaws, Weight loss

Dance Like No One Is Watching

I don’t understand why someone created the catch phrase “Dance Like No One Is Watching”. I just… What? Huh? Hmm..

I will dance. I will dance if someone is watching, I will dance if no one is watching. I could care less if someone thinks my dancing is good or bad. I could care less if someone else’s dancing is good or bad. I only care if they are or are not getting down next to me on the dance floor.

I am a dancer. I’m not a classically trained ballerina or a hip hop master. Although, I have been asked where I learned to dance like that…(The answer is Sisters 3 Dance and hundreds of hours of wedding receptions)…although, on second thought, my mother-in-law may have been politely inquiring how her daughter-in-law could act like such a hussy…

I will be dance. Since the 6th grade, I have given my whole being into dance. At the end of the pre-teen co-Ed dances at the local church, I left drenched in stinky sweat with my Aquanet bangs stiffly hanging in my eyes only despairing that the dance was over, not that the boys saw me at less than my finest. As an adult, I don’t understand why my friends stand around at the 50th birthday party chatting with people we talk to every week when there is music and a dance floor, things we DON’T have every week.

I don’t understand. How can you not dance? How is it that you need to talk yourself into dancing? Truthfully, however, I think slow songs are only good for when nature is calling, but, also only for ballet dancing in my kitchen.

Frankly, I do have dancing every week. Just no one is watching.

2015/01/img_4606.jpg

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2015

It seems so cliché to make resolutions these days. Yet, I just can’t stop myself.

I’m in need of a makeover, January 1st (actually 5th) (now the 8th), seems like the best time to do it. I might as well jump on the self-improvement train and make a go of it.

Here are a few things I’d like to accomplish in 2015:
1. Gain a better understanding of which foods negatively impact how I feel and irritate my digestive system

2. Build functional strength

3. Reduce unnecessary spending

4. Spend more time on creative projects

5. Get on with life

2015/01/img_4804.jpg

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Filed under exercise, family, music, personality flaws, travel, Weight loss

It Will Be Done

I’m changing, or, maybe I’m in a phase. If I was younger and lacking medical barriers, I’d blame it on pregnancy because I feel like I’m nesting. Since that isn’t the case, perhaps I’ve just matured?

Wait, does peri menopause have symptoms of just wanting to get shit done, finally?

I’m sick and tired of wanting to do projects, coming up with ideas, and thinking “I could totally do that” but never, ever doing anything. I have a closet full of materials, but no finished items.

Well, I used to. Now, I just want to get shit done.

I think it started when the glass table broke and my husband threatened me with throwing away the frame or do something with it. So, we made a pallet table.

IMG_4386.JPG Not the finished product

It didn’t seem like it took that much effort (admittedly, the husband and younger kid did quite a bit), but I got to thinking, why stop there? So, I finally, took all the boys scouting awards and put them into displays that I thought up about three years ago.

IMG_4617.JPGThen my friend Robbie took me to a an art class and I said, “Next month, we are doing crafts at my house.” Plus, I was threatened with do something with the rest of the pallet wood or it’ll be burned.

IMG_4618.JPGThe husband painted the family room which spurred me into a shopping spree to redecorate. It’s a good thing, it got cold because it refocused me on more materials waiting in the closet. (a.k.a. money already spent) These are my arm and finger knitting scarves. I’ve only finished four which is enough for one everyday of the week when I include my purchased scarves.

IMG_4609.JPGI actually made a Christmas present last night for one of the boys instead of the materials sitting in the closet for three years like the awards displays. That was after I adjusted the colors of the new LED lights I put on the Christmas tree.

I have more crafting nights planned. I have a bazillion ideas for Christmas. I am….

Oh, crap! I’d better get on those Christmas cards! I have 4-5 boxes of unused cards sitting in the closet from previous years thinking I would send them but did not. Maybe the “get shit done” hormones will make me crave the taste of envelope glue? I think it’s worth a try. Right?

It Will Be Done!
Uh, do you hear what I hear?

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Filed under family, Lessons learned, personality flaws, wonderland

Are You Still Running?

Susan, my New Jersey intern turned friend from Port Huron, and I sat around a summer back yard fire catching up on life and parenthood.
“Are you still running?” she inquired.
I paused…

A month earlier, I was at a conference networking with your standard R&D introverts. It would have been a slow conversation if it hadn’t been for the free beer and wine at the happy hour. We were discussing the challenges of getting up at 5 am to run in the scholarship fundraiser 5K. Not one of us was planning on running it. The woman next to me admitted that she used to run but she’d gotten injured and never got back into running. I nodded my head knowing what she meant.

I used to fear getting injured so bad that I wouldn’t be able to run while I waited to heal. Three running styles, five pairs of shoes, a set of bare feet, months of early morning walks, turning 40 and two missed Girls On The Run events later, I realize my fear was misplaced. I should have feared losing my desire to run.

I run sporadically. Often, I’ll run in the middle of my morning walk. But, am I running? ie., Am I a Runner?

I have never defined being a “Runner” by speed or distance. To me, being a runner has to do with attitude, desire and a runner’s high. Susan’s inquiry put me in a position where I had to face what had happened. I changed and I no longer feel like I am a runner.

Ever since Susan’s inquiry, I’ve pondered who am I, what am I doing and what do I want? I suppose this is another side affect of going over-the-hill. It’s hard to define a goal when you’ve already taken life’s major stepping stones, run a 5K, win a 5K, run a half, run a sub-25 5K, PR in the half, get injured and run a return 5K. What’s left? Maybe it’s time I did something crazy?

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Filed under exercise, personality flaws, running