Tag Archives: weight loss

Sibling Rivalry

My siblings and I get along famously. So famously that when we were younger, people used to ask my mom how she got us to get along so well. I must admit that with a brother 6 years older, we didn’t always get along so famously when parents weren’t around. He was master of the game “Take a Seat”. I was master of taking a seat. Even though I remember hating that “game”, I really don’t feel any rivalry between my siblings and myself. I enjoy seeing them succeed and never feel the need to one up them.

This lack of competitiveness, of course, becomes a problem when my sister suggests that she and I compete in a weight loss challenge against each other where the biggest loser gets $50 from the actual loser. If I felt some sort of rivalry towards her then I would be motivated to make smart eating decisions resulting in a substantial advantage over her. Instead, I pick up the donut (or two) and tell myself it’s ok because surely, Penny will surge ahead on a wave of accomplishment that will carry her to a glorious finale. I just won’t care that she going to beat me. Thus, I’ll be sitting back, five pounds heavier, clapping for her as she crosses the finish line. I won’t even be able to cheer for her verbally because, at that time, I’ll have three brownies shoved in my mouth, “hurmmmfy Pemmffy!”

While I may not be characteristically competitive (against Penny), I am stIll characteristically a solution seeker. Resolutely, I decided to create an alternate set of rules for the challenge. In this game, on June 1st, the loser has to buy two pair of shorts. One pair for the winner to show off how good they look from all that weight loss. The other pair for themselves. Because the only thing worse than jeans shopping is swimsuit shopping. Since I am not a masochist, I settled for shorts. Even then, shorts is just as equally painful as shopping for jeans. The last thing you want to do after spending a month trying to lose weight is buy a pair of shorts in a bigger size. So, once again, to avoid being a masochist, whether I lose the most or lose the least, I’d better get losing!

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Gag Reflex

I have been gagging on my food today. Let me tell you, the gagging isn’t caused by a threat of salmonell, the smell of pickled herring, or the dryness that comes from completely charred food.

I haven’t had a cookie in three days.

Or chocolate. Or ice cream. Or..

Yes, my body has gone into shock. If there was a microphone inside my body, this is what I think you’d hear..

EGADS! Where are the fricken cookies!!! Chicken?? Who does she think I am, Gracie Gold? This is ridiculous. I’ve been eating cookies everyday of my life. Not a thing wrong with me. If I don’t get some cookies this instant, I’ll go bang her head on the wall. Cookies!! Why, oh, Why can’t I have cookies!

Now repeat that but replace cookies with ice cream, chocolate, candy, donuts, and so on.

I wouldn’t recommend stepping into my office this week. I might barf this healthy chicken all over your shoes.

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More, More, More

I feel like I have procrastinated long enough, it is time to face 2014 and get on with this thing. This year the resolution thing didn’t really move me. I can set all the goals I want but if I’m not motivated then it’s a mute point. So this year, I felt like a little introspection was the path to take. When I looked inside, I saw that I want more, more and more.

More Food
It’s a sad situation when you’re relieved that the holidays are over just because you won’t be faced with piles of edibles that make you feel like crap. In 2014, I want more food. The real kind that makes a real contribution to maintaining a physically fit body. By physically fit, I don’t just mean weight loss. I finally kicked sausage to the curb because my non-gull bladder body just can’t deal with it anymore. I’ve had a taste of peacefulness and I want more of it. There are other foods and other components of foods that make it difficult to put on a happy face day in and day out. I want to pinpoint what those foods are and lock them out with the sausage.

More Of What I Used To Have
So many dream of the bodies they had when they were in high school. I don’t really care about that anymore but I would like some of the good habits I used to have when I was about 35 years old. Like carrying a water bottle with me everywhere just so I wouldn’t go thirsty or eating the lunch I brought from home because it was healthier and more economical than fast food. I cared more about what I ate, what I did, and how I did it. I want to be more like I was when I was 35.

20140108-133624.jpgMy motivational poster from 2009/2010 when my attitude was on only a slight decline

More Running
Need I say more? No, I only need to do more.

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Filed under exercise, Lessons learned, running, Uncategorized, Weight loss

October

I used to think that I’d have to lose all my weight by the time I was 40 or I’d be a lost cause. The funny thing is that at 40 I’m wiser and I know it’s not the end.

I’d like to add that my wisdom with age realizes I might be wiser but I am not the wisest. It’s like learning to never say never. I know there is much more to experience and wisdom to gain in the next 40+ years.

So, here’s another bit of wisdom I’ve gained from my experiences over the last few years.

My birthday is in December. It coincides nicely with end of the year wrap up and goal setting, except, by New Year’s Eve, it’s already old news to me. On my birthday, I imagine where I’ll be on my birthday the following year, at least, in weight loss terms. Then I say to myself, “Self, you’ve got 365 days. GO!”

Yeah. It doesn’t work out that way. First of all, in the first 10 days, it is still the holidays. Second, I am a world class procrastinator. I don’t start thinking about getting serious until October when I realize I’d better get serious because that next birthday is getting dressed for a party.

“People are so worried about what they eat between Christmas and the New Year, but they really should be worried with what they eat between the New Year and Christmas. – unknown

Mostly, I’m lucky if I even maintain my weight through those last few months of the year. For example, I was a goner by November 10th.

So, here’s my personal wisdom. Like the quote, I need to stop thinking that I can cram all this work into the last few months. In fact, I need to give up on November and December altogether. I don’t have 365 days. I have from January 7 until the end of October to make significant progress on this life style change. November and December should be reserved for a whole different life project.

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In About An Hour

Last week, I procured fancy new glasses. Even though I have vision insurance that designates only a few optometrist around town as in-network, I still went to LensCrafters. Do you know why? Glasses…in about an hour.

It’s about the instant gratification. I’ve been waiting about a year to get new glasses, I was not about to wait any longer no matter what the benefit. (Yes, I will still get reimbursed for a portion). As soon as that new Flex Spend kicked in, I was all over the store trying on the ridiculous to the awesome. Once I viewed my awesome new bling, I wanted them right away, not a week later. Instantly… In about an hour.

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This episode reaffirms my preference for instant gratification. Which is probably why I’ve sucked at weight loss the last two years. I’ve waited for decades to get down to the “ideal weight” so whenever I start a life change, I want to SEE a change…in about an hour. When I don’t get the satisfaction I want..in about an hour.., I go eat what I want because that is satisfying right now.

So, I’m going into my renewed promise for a life change this time with not only do I need to eat better, exercise more, but, I also need to be patient. Eating habits won’t change overnight, I’ll still have cravings. Exercise habits won’t change overnight, there will still be too busy weekends in Michigan. My clothes won’t change overnight, there will still be ones that hang in the back of the closet.

I just need to face it, in about an hour…I’ll still be working on that life change.

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Reason #1: Pain Killer

Usually when I list a reason for this or that I pick a random number between 1 and 1000 because my reasons may or may not be equally important and I think it takes too much time to organize and prioritize my reasons. However, I believe I have found my number 1 reason to lose weight.

Reason #1: Pain Killer

If I lose weight, it will kill the pain. I’m not talking about emotional pain. I’m talking keep-you-up-at-night physical pain.

Hips, tips, and more
I’ve had chronic issues with my hip for about the last decade. Christmas night, my hip was a little achy from hours sitting around the table enjoying the company of my family in my home. At 3:30 am, I was wide awake in hip agony. That’s hardly how I wanted to wrap up Christmas. When I’m on the light side, this doesn’t happen.

Often in the morning, my hands ache down to my finger tips from inflation or water retention. Whatever, it’s not pleasant to feel like your fingers belong to the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man.

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What’s more is that I’ve been living with a constant gut ache since December 28th. Almost a decade ago, when I followed the Atkins diet, I realized that I stopped getting a post-meal gut ache. I’ve been eating a lot of carbs lately and suffering the consequences.

So, maybe all this is caused by dehydration or gluten or some other injury/disease. This isn’t about how to resolve those issues, it’s about why. The extra weight aggravates or causes these problems. Taking that weight off will be more effective than two Advil.

The physical pain of being over weight is my #1 reason. It’s better than fitting into a bikini (Reason #789) It’s better than showing up Ms. So-n-so at a party/reunion/etc (Reason #436) It’s even better than just liking how I look. (Reason #71)

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A Philosophical Discussion: The Last Meal

Have you ever been asked the question:
If you knew this was your very last meal, what would you eat?

Right away, I start to over analyze it.
Are we talking breakfast, lunch or dinner?
Do I have to eat local or will I have time to fly to another part of the world?
Do I have to cook it or does it magically appear?
Does it have to be a meal or can it just be dessert?
Do I have to stick with a ‘normal’ meal or can I get creative?

Since I’ve spent half of my life trying to lose weight, I’ve learned a few things about ‘last meals’. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve had just one last (insert bad for you food here) only to walk away saying, “Really? It wasn’t as good as I remembered it.” So, this choice has to be carefully considered because I’d hate to go to my death bed being disappointed in my last food choice.

If it was:

Breakfast
French Toast- this has always been my favorite breakfast and I know all the secrets to making it the World’s best. Don’t even kid yourself that all it takes is some vanilla and cinnamon. There is more but it’s also my secret. The final and defining ingredient is real maple syrup just like Mom used. I’ll wait for you to fly to Vermont to get some, if necessary. Restaurants not serving maple syrup is probably one of the single most effective ways to keep me on a diet. I’ll take some bacon too, if you’ve got it.
On the side, as a breakfast dessert, I want my mom’s Apple Jonathan.

Lunch
I am my mother’s daughter. I don’t like leftovers. Therefore, if my last meal is at lunchtime, it has to be a sandwich. More specifically, a Jimmy John’s sandwich. I can’t be more specific than that because they have so many good sandwiches that I couldn’t pick until I got there. Even then I might order a party platter just to get a variety for my last time.
But, before lunch is over, we have to drive to Plainwell, MI to get ice cream. It’s a good thing the drive will be long because I am going to need to make room for all the flavors I am going to eat. I’ll probably start with chocolate hazelnut, island city fudge, mint chocolate chip, butter pecan, pumpkin, and lemon chiffon. Not necessarily in that order but most likely.

Dinner
We will have to travel again but this time we need a plane because I want fresh from the sea crab. Not crab with a K but real, still in the shell crab. King crab is preferred but I’ll settle for Dungeness if need be. I have to eat it on the pacific coast because by the time it gets to the Midwest it’s crap instead of crab. I might have some room for sweet corn but only if the pick it the Jeanne way. Young and sweet. Also, I’d like applesauce. Homemade. The way mom made it.

I hope this airplane we are in has the ability to time travel or alter the seasons because I need to go to Michigan in early June for fresh strawberry shortcake for my dessert. But, (there’s always a but) I don’t eat ‘shortcake’, I eat my strawberries on fresh, homemade, buttermilk biscuits like mom used to make.

There’s a bit of a theme in my choices. Each one related to how my mom cooked or what she taught me about food. She cooked from scratch on most things. Those are the things that taste the best, not the processed fast food so present in my life today. She showed me that fresh foods, perfectly picked were far better than anything else.

Mom died 11 years ago from pancreatic cancer. When I think of a last meal, I don’t just think about mom’s cooking or mom’s ways, I also think about her last meal. She was determined to fight the cancer until the very last second. She was so determined that she still tried to eat the day before she died even though all her organs were in failure. My mom’s last meal was a day old donut from Westco gas station.

I know it’s a philosophical discussion but when it comes down to it, your last meal isn’t going to mean anything. It’s all the meals you had before that.

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